January 24, 2013

A Dream Deferred

 photo via


What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode? -- Langston Hughes

8 months since graduating with a Masters degree and still no job to show for it. I go through bouts of anxiousness and being antsy,  but I think that has all boiled down to tiresomeness, anger, and re-evaluation.

Tiresome: because I have spent EIGHT months doing nothing but job-hunting with the highest of hopes of getting hired, especially in such a big city with tons of universities, hospitals, and pharmaceutical companies.

Angry: because I spent so much time and money on private school degrees and currently have nothing to show for it.

Re-evaluating: because I am no longer sure if this career path that I have chosen is really one that I should pursue.

I mean, I love science, and have had a growing interest in it for several years now. But it does become disheartening when 200+ job applications (yes, you read that correctly -- 217 applications to be exact!!) yield nothing. Employers say they want employees with experience. How do we acquire experience without someone granting us the opportunity to learn? to grow?

I trust in the Lord for His promises to provide and grant me the desires of my heart. He has done it before. More than once. It's just a little difficult seeing where this one will go. Is there a reason why I am losing interest in working as a research laboratory technician? (other than sheer frustration over job-hunting). Is this not what I am called to do?

I guess I just have to continue trusting and see what happens.

'Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.'
Proverbs 13:12

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