Sunday, February 24th, marked 3 months since beau and I said "I do" and committed our whole lives to each other. It feels a little longer, but time often makes us feel that way.
Marriage life has been lovely thus far. Here’s how we have been adjusting to:
Being in each other’s space/presence. Beau and I have been in a long-distance since we started courting in 2009. I was a junior in a college in New Jersey at the time. Graduated Spring 2010. Then attended grad school in Connecticut from Fall 2010 to Spring 2012. The most time we’ve spent together in each other's presence either consisted of weekend visits to my school on occasion or week-long vacations at his parent's home in Georgia. Although this was the case, we currently are not facing any challenges where being in other’s space is involved. Beau works a normal 40-hour work week while I am home during the days, so that gives us more than enough time to be out of each other’s hair. When we are both home at the same time, we still have a balance between the amount of time spent together. Which brings me to my next point…
Communicating. In terms of sharing our thoughts and ideas on trivial subject matters, beau and I could get shiny award stickers for a job well done. We talk about our days and things that interest us with ease. I also find that I am able to speak with him about issues that affect me with ease, as I have always been able to do because I trust him and his judgment. Sometimes it takes a while for me to get the thoughts and words out, but I am never terrified of discussing serious matters with him. Our hiccups in communication therefore lies in explanations and understandings. This was the most frustrating thing for me while we were dating and even now. I would explain something in what I thought were the simplest of terms, but he would not understand what I was saying. And for beau, he would explain something to me and his explanation would not make sense. Not for lack of understanding the words, but for lack of understanding or agreeing with the concept. Those are the two major issues we face in our marriage. Well, that and talking about issues that beset us sooner rather than waiting until we feel we’re ready to talk about them. We are learning.
External hardships. I keep hearing from others, ad nauseum, that we will face many hardships. We already know that and have faced many hardships up to our wedding day and even after. Not that we’re “Super Couple” and are able to ‘fight off hardships’, but I think we have just learned to expect them and battle them with grace and humility. Through our marriage, I am learning a lot about handling situations with grace and humility through beau. I have only recently expressed this to beau, but I really and truly have observed his ways and am taking note. I usually freak out about things. I worry often. I cry lots. I. freak. out. But beau? He is like a gentle soul. I used to look at him and think that he must have some sort of bottled up frustration under all his meekness (and I am sure he does at times), but he doesn’t let it show. Neither does he harp on hardships or problems. He’ll sigh as loud as possible. He’ll have a furrowed brow or will have a discontented disposition about him. He’ll even make up a song about the problem and sing it for 5 minutes straight. But, I have never seen him complain, or worry, or … freak out. I am learning.