September 29, 2012

Indeciduous


Autumn arrived one week ago, and I am still a little indecisive on how I feel about it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy this season and could not wait to have the stagnant Summer air move out with the crisp wind of Fall; but it is a little weird being at home during this time of the year.

My last Autumn spent in Philadelphia was the start of senior year of high school (2005). That seems like aeons ago! Being home actually brings back vivid memories of those days; something I am not too fond of. In any case, it's a beautiful season and I can't wait to experience Autumn in Philadelphia during my 'adult life'.

Last Sunday after church, beau and I went for a walk along Kelly Drive. It was beautiful. I could not believe the official start of Fall was the day before and the leaves had already begun to change color. The crisp weather seemed to have brought many people out: Families played by the Schuylkill, Bikers came out in clans, men fished, Geese swarmed around for the usual feedings, and dog-owners of all kinds were talking a stroll. It was a great atmosphere, as it always is...



.... and as per usual, the birds ran away when I came close to snap a pic. 

September 20, 2012

Life Goes On -- Making Plans


It's pretty safe to say that just about every girl dreams of the day she falls in love, becomes engaged, and is then able to plan her wedding. I have to admit that the last 11 months (can't believe it's been that long already) of my engagement haven't been so grande. Aside from not having the support that I would like to have, I was also hunkered down with school, finding a job post graduation, and the overall cares of life.

I really wish I could do this all over again and have the joyful parent, carefree life, a well-paying career to foot the expenses, and just the overall support to begin planning my dream wedding. But that would make life a little less interesting, wouldn't it?

Needless to say, life goes on and in the end, I have to do what's best for me. I love beau with all my heart. Not just because he's sweet, kind and easy on the eyes, but because he actively strives to be an easy-going, Christ-like person. His actions towards me and certain situations in life pushes me to try my hardest to live that way as well.

So, in light of the roadblock that was before us in planning our wedding, I have finally begun planning the details of my wedding.  I do hope to share some of these details with you when they're completed, dearest readers. In the mean time, here are a few of my favorite inspirations from my pinterest boards.

photo via

September 15, 2012

Sad Before

 via

I've been sad before, but not like this. No. This one is a little different. This one hurts a little more. ..

This one has me feeling physically sick to my stomach. Retching with no product. Lying face-down on the floor bawling never ending tears. Yea! This one is different.

I almost wish someone would rip my insides out, so I could feel a different kind of pain.

You see, no one really knows what I have been through unless they've been through it themselves. How someone could be so wicked and angry for naught. The venomous things they'd say. The spiteful things they'd do.

It hurts.

September 9, 2012

Going Back


I am thinking of going back. Back to the way I used to write. Back to the deep-seated things that I used to share. Granted, I'm no best selling author, and I often question my diction, but I had a lot of personal things that needed to be expressed, and it was a relief to bare them all here where no one I knew would read and revel sympathize in my hurt.

Since friends and family members (and more subscribers than I ever imagined having) check in regularly, I shied away from sharing these things.  But, I feel as though it's time to share again. There are a lot of things that burden my heart lately. A lot of pain and hurt that I smile through. And I honestly believe that someone, somewhere may be facing similar adversities and would like the comfort of knowing that they are not alone in their tribulations, and that there is hope in making it through.

So, I'm going back.

September 3, 2012

Currently



Loving: That Fall is almost here. As the frequency of heat waves decreases and the nights become cooler and more comfortable, I look forward to the overall shift in weather patterns, the changes in leaves, and what is to come during the Fall months.
 
Thinking about: putting my wedding day dreams to pen and paper. Pinterest is good and all, but I think it's time to start planning my own impending wedding. Every once in a while, I get a little urge to do it, and then never get around to it. I think it's time (especially since it may occur not too long from now).

Reading: 1) Genesis in the Bible. Since I have so much time on my hands, I am able to read at a slow and constant rate, and fully take in all of the written words. ; 2) The Hunger Games. I know. I know. I'm kind of late. I started reading earlier in the year, but put if off to focus on school and didn't get back to it until now.

Craving: Sweet sweet ice cream, A fluffy cupcake, or a gooey chocolate chip cookie. I'll take either or all, please! I've been eating pretty healthy and exercising intermittently for the last few months (and whatever I want on date nights with the Beau) and dropped back down to the weight I was before I started grad school. Huzzah!. Therefore, I haven't had sweets since around this time. Anyone willing to offer any of the sweet treats listed above, I would accept it with gladness.

Making me happy: the thought of being that much closer to closing on a house. That's right! Beau and I found a cute little house with just about everything we wanted.

Working on: patience.The Lord is working on my life and I've finally given up trying to do everything on my own and placed it all God's hands. Now, I wait... I wait for the job, the stress-free life, and the means of planning and executing a wedding. (Exodus 14:13)
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