June 26, 2011

I Want Him

Dear God,

I want him, A.S. He is the one I want, Lord. I am extremely sorry for the forwardness, but this just all came to mind. 
In 6 days, it will be 2 years since the day he acted all awkward and nervous until he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. (2.5 years since that conversation in January where he said “I’m kinda feelin’ you, and I think you’re kinda feelin’ me too. Wanna go out on a date?”) That was not the most romantic way of asking me out, but it worked.

I want him, Lord. With all his flaws.
I want him with all the frustrations that he brings me.  
I want him with overgrown hair that he doesn’t want to cut until he “feels like it”. 
I want him with his talkativeness.
I want him with his greediness/gluttonous ways.
I want him with the funky glasses, and the weird afro growing out right now.
I want him with his Dickies, baggy t-shirts, … stupid, ugly, slipper-looking K-Swiss(es).
I want him with the tight grip when we’re holding hands.
I want him with the soft lips.
I want him with his big brown eyes, one slanted tooth, and one perfectly arched eyebrow.
I want him who cries when I hurt his feelings.
I want him who calmly deals with me in all my miserableness and anger.
I want him who loves me dearly.
I want him who loves YOU dearly, Lord.
I want him who’s obedient to his earthly and spiritual fathers.
I want him who encourages me to try new things, and smiles when I love them.
I want him who interprets ALL bajillion-million facial expressions I can come up with at any given time, and who laughs at my stupid jokes.
I want him who is willing to do anything to make our relationship work. 

… I want him, Lord God, who is strong enough to hear the woman he loves so deeply say to him, “I’m not sure I want to marry you”, but continues to hold fast to what you have revealed to him through prayer and consecration. 

I. Want. Him.  :-\

Ever dealt with uncertainty about your relationship? How do you hear God's voice in these situations? 

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