May 31, 2011

Motherly Connections


I think a certain connection is lost between mother and child when that child has not been reared by their mother for seven years after birth. Reconnection brings about further friction coupled with inexperience, a feeling of a loss of control, abuse, anger, hatred, depression, and separation. Intolerance from one person to the other and vice versa. A complete misunderstanding of each others roles. A complete misunderstanding of power, and how to use it. A complete misunderstanding of boundaries and feelings. A complete misunderstanding...

What is offered instead is what was learned from the mother that was not there. There was no motherly example. There was resentment unexpressed, all in which translated to the future generation of potential mothers.

I do believe, however, that this can all change. People do change. They either realize their maladaptive behaviors have hurt others, or they are awakened by fear of loneliness. Either way, a mother's love never truly dissipates. It is there waiting to reconcile; to pick up the broken piecesl and to try to make good with what little time is left. All the pain that was caused in the previous years still flutters around and remind them of the pain that their own offspring can cause, and how much pain they have caused them. But, if they have a good heart, they are willing to reconnect.

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