In 2015, I moved from the idea of creating New Year's Resolutions to setting goals. I wrote a checklist of dreams and desires for myself in the back of my planner and intermittently checked the status of them throughout the year. It wasn't a long list by any means, but it included aspirations that I have had for a while. Big item things that I would have really liked to accomplish at some point in life (ie. near future). By the end of the year, I think all but two things were checked off. I thought that was impressive, but not good enough. Not having those last two items checked off felt like a failure to me (because sadly, I have a severe misconception about the the goodness of my life most times).
This evening as I drove home from work, my mind drifted into deep thought as it normally does. I don't remember the sequence in which my thoughts came, but I ended with the realization that I had achieved one of the last goals on that list. I had the job title that I was seeking for some time now. And though the position is nothing like what I had imagined, it is what I wanted, and what I researched endlessly, and what I prayed for. I wanted this, and I got it. Granted, it's not what I thought it would be in terms of salary and perks and the like, but this was it. I got so caught up in what it lacked, and how it didn't make me feel, and how it was in comparison to other titles, that I lost sight of the fact that it was actually in my possession.
How thankless we are sometimes! -- or, at least I know I am. We are always on the hunt for the next level, the next best thing, and we forget to appreciate what we have now. We forget to see and acknowledge the blessing (for lack of a better term) that we have before us.
As I try to work through this revelation, for the remainder of the week or however long it takes to chew and digest all of this, my one hope is that I don't forget the humble beginnings. I hope I don't forget the journey that got me to whatever milestone I reach. I want to remember the wanting, because it was the wanting that leads to the getting.