Love and Marriage

Life with Beau on this side of marriage (i.e. after the first year) gets increasingly sweet. Not because of some secret formula, but because of the love we have for one another and the effort to not only have an eros love, but to love like Christ loves us-- agape love. It is something I see Beau doing every single day (and he's really good at it too) and it's something I strive for to the best of my abilities. I admit that it is a bit difficult for me because I am selfish. Marriage taught me that. No seriously. As I listen to myself complain talk about all the things that are wrong, I realize that I worry about myself a lot. Like, a lot a lot.  But seeing how Beau steadily focuses on having his horizontal relationship correspond with his vertical one, I too would like to love like him.

And yes, there are days when we drive each other mad. Like, up the the wall crazy. Days where I don't feel like talking to him, and he's confused as to why we are not speaking. There are days when he annoys me and I frustrate him. We have those days.

But sometimes, in that same breath, we laugh hysterically at each others craziness and fall in love all over again... love on top of the love that was already there.

Because, marriage. 

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One Year Married

As we approached November, I could not believe how quickly this year progressed. Wow! And here it is, November 24th, one full year since my sweet Beau and I said committed our lives to each other before our family and friends. It has been one crazy year. Many bloggers  post about how sweet and incredibly amazing their first year of marriage has been. I have to be honest and say that it has definitely been a long ways from crying the day we came back from our honeymoon. (It wasn't anything bad. haha. It was just a complete shock to my system... I suppose.)

I can boast about our first year being rather sweet and amazing, too, though. This was such a growing process for myself (and Beau, I'm sure). I learned so many great things about Beau that I never knew while dating or engaged. Like, how he would have been a Philosophy/English major in college had he not pursued a degree in architecture. I have also learned how one of his deciding factors in marrying me was the fact that I made "bangin' ackee and saltfish"- a traditional Jamaican dish. But on a more serious note, I learned how hard-working he is and how committed he is to making me happy. I have also learned how incredibly calm and placid he is. I think that is my favorite trait about him, to date, although it drove me nuts in the beginning. Most of all, I loved that he loves me HARD. That is something that I have been lacking in my life. It was something I needed. I never really asked of it from him, but he gave it to me, full and big. This has been the most rewarding part of our marriage for me. Someone who loves me wholeheartedly, even in the midst of my complaining and less-than lovable times.  

This year has truly been amazing. We faced some difficult times, but through those times, we were able to see the hand of God working out those tough situations for us.

I am so incredibly happy I get to share life with my sweet Ansel. I look forward to many more years of learning, growing and loving with him!

More In A Moment...

I stumbled upon the most beautiful worship video today, and the words "You could love me more in a moment, than other lovers could in lifetime" really spoke to my heart. This is such a beautiful expression of God's love for us. I decided to try my hand at a little typography (pictured above-- not the most intricate, but you know..). I hope this message brings some peace and comfort to you. 

If you're interested in listening/watching the video, click through to view it here.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, 

nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, 

shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

~Romans 8:38-39~

Gratitude

photo via

I've been thinking about all the things I'm grateful for lately. Just a realization that, "yea... that thing is good. and I am so incredibly grateful for having it during this season of my life."

My Beau. This past weekend, I saw a side of him I've never actually seen. I've always heard of his sleepless nights in architecture school and the stress that being an architect can sometimes bring, but this weekend I got to witness it for myself. He worked ALL day Saturday (with the exception of preparing breakfast for us) into Sunday morning. When I went to bed, he was still up working. I found out Sunday morning that he finally went to bed around 5am. After church on Sunday, he still had more work to do that also kept him up throughout early this morning. What. a. trooper! I am so grateful for him because he has been so busy with work, church and maintaining our home expenses and has yet to complain. And through all of the stress, he is still so loving. I don't deserve it.

Christian friends. I have been needing a little encouragement lately. Other than praying and burdening beau with all the cares of life, I had no one to really talk to about what has been troubling me. Furthermore, I didn't want to just talk and have someone listen, I wanted to be encouraged and strengthened. Words of wisdom is what I sought. I was able to find that through a blogger friend, Eimile, and an acquaintance from college. There's something about someone in the faith encouraging you. Instead of trying to build you up on your own strength and telling you that you will overcome by your own merit, they remind you of the goodness and all-sufficiency of Christ. How inspite of all my ill-feelings, He is still good. He is still gracious. And that is enough. Afterall, it is by God's grace that I am able to do anything worth doing (Philippians 4:13) and he has promised to never leave me (Deuteronomy 31:6). I am so grateful for these great friends and their beautiful wisdom. 

What little things have you been grateful for? 

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

23 

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

~Lamentations 3:22-23~

Video of the Day: The Type

Spoken word is one those hidden gems that I discovered in college. Thought provoking words spoken with such passion, you can almost relate to the emotions exuded through the speaker. 

Sarah Kay is my favorite. I don't have a genuine reason as to why. I just like her and her poems. I think I liked her even more after her TED talk. I also love that wonderful pun she's made out of her name: "KaySarah, Sera". Get it? ha! 

Here's one of her newest pieces. It's beautiful. 

"Woman, if you grow up the type men want to love

You can let them love you

Being loved is not the same thing as loving."

This Is How I Know What Love Is || Part II

In part I of this post, I mentioned that a few years back, I was seeking an answer to the question: what is love?

I began looking for the true meaning of love once my relationship with Beau began to blossom. You see, I grew up with an idealistic understanding of love from watching an abundance of fairy tales and happily ever after movies. That is where I learned to see love as an affection -- an emotion of sorts. As I got older, my view on love was completely marred by physical and emotional abuse and rejection from the guys I sought affections from. By the time I actually found love (in Beau), I was pretty messed up. I believed in it a little bit, but I still had my reservations. That was made evident in this post. 

While dating Beau, I felt that there had to be more to love than emotions. Maybe because I knew where our relationship was headed. Maybe because our relationship drew me closer to God. Maybe it was a little bit of everything. Beau loved me so fiercely, and I honestly didn't know how to love him back with that same ... gusto. that same patience, kindness and forgiveness. My heart seriously lacked that kind of love, and I wasn't made aware of it until then.

Fast-forward to today, and I think I have a much better understanding of love. Love is more than something you feel -- it's something you do. As I've drawn closer to the Lord, I am highly aware of His love for us as stated in these scriptures:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) 

Greater love hath no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Just as Christ laid down His life for our sins out of love, our actions should also scream LOVE! We can't say that we love someone and not show them love. What's easier to believe: someone saying they have a gift for you  or you actually seeing that gift in person? It is easier to believe love when it is outwardly expressed to us (i.e flowers, gifts and forgiving readily).

 Love should be independent of our feelings and emotions. Emotions are fleeting, anyway. You could love someone someday and as soon as that person does something to hurt you or lose your trust, your feelings for them may change drastically. Let us strive to love wholeheartedly with our actions. Furthermore, seek after the love of God, which far exceeds any love we could have for one another.

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” 

~Matthew 22:36-39~

**image 1; image 2**

This Is How I Know What Love Is || Part I

[Arms Wide Open by Misty Edwards]

♫ "What does love look like? is the question I've been pondering 

What does love look like? 

 What does love look like? is the question I've been asking of You 

Once believed that love was romance, just a chance 

 I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful 

 I once believed that love was a momentary bliss, but love is more than this..." ♪

This song poses a question I sought an answer to a couple years ago:
What is love?
What does love feel like?
The answer is depicted beautifully in this song Arms Wide Open by Misty Edwards. Listen to the words and meditate on them. I'll expound upon it a bit more in a follow-up post. 

6 Months Married!

No one really counts the months, but I do. 

I would count the days, hours and minutes too if my mind could commit to it. 

6 months ago, I said "I do", and I'm so glad that I did.

Life with Beau is so sweet. He's so loving, kind and hard-working. 

Beau doesn't consider months to have significance in comparison to years, but I count them all. Every day is a gift. A new learning experience. A new life experience. I cherish it. 

I planned a tiny surprise for him today. I couldn't decide between cupcakes or a donut (tower) cake. I opted for the latter (since I know he has plans to bake carrot cupcakes this weekend) and added sparkler candles. I also got a little card...
It's the small things.
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Happy holiday weekend, everyone! 

Enjoy your barbecues and time off!

Let Me Call You Sweetheart

 

Let Me Call You Sweetheart by Bing Crosby 

"Let me call you Sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Let me hear you whisper
That you love me too
Keep the love light glowing
In your eyes so blue
Let me call you Sweetheart
I'm in love with you"

 

Happy Valentine's Day, readers. 

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Paperman

If you are into sweet, love stories you will enjoy this short film by Disney. This adorable little short film is out just in time for Valentine's Day. I'm a sap, so I will not disclose the emotions felt after watching it, but I will say that it is truly sweet.

The 'Perfect' Song

via

As a person who enjoys listening to adult contemporary love songs from the 80s, 90s and early Y2K, I did not foresee having such a hard time deciding which song to march in to. As I combed through my playlist entitled Eros, I've listened to the lyrics of each song more carefully than ever before... and have finally decided on this one. A little more modern, but lovely nonetheless.

In the process of trying to find that perfect song that seemed as if it was not in my personal musical collection at all, I stumbled upon a song by Brandon Heath. I loved it so much and it brought so many tears to my eyes, that I had to have it played at some point during our wedding. 

Beau and I agreed to have it played for our first dance.

 Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath

Have You Ever Been In Love

I haven't posted a "Video of the Day" in quite a while, so here we go again.

 As I have stated in previous posts, I am a classic love song kind of girl. Celine Dion is by far one of my favorite artists. Her love songs are just so pure. Have You Ever Been in Love is an amazing song because it describes that light, airy feeling you have when you are in love, and love someone very deeply. The feeling is pretty inexplicable at times, but no fear... This song says it all!  Well, most of it, anyway.

"Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your hearts shooting stars
You're holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been so in love " ~Celine Dion~

Things Are Going to be All White

I used to watch romance films and believe that would be me one day. Then, reality kicked in and I realized guys can be cruel and everything doesn't always turn out like they do in fairytales and films. But after meeting my beau and experiencing how he loves SO passionately and SO hard... I believe again! 

Happy 3 years, beau!

I love you more than I could even express in a simple blog post. I love how you love the Lord. And I love how you love me. 

I look forward to the day when we say "I do". 

(Dearest readers, I guess this is my way of officially announcing our engagement. I said 'Yes!' on October 3, 2011!)

He's Not Perfect

I've spotted this quote twice last week, and figured it was speaking to me. Every single word scribed above is so very true.

I love my beau.

"I Will Wait For You"

"I Will Wait For You" by Janette...ikZ

This is a spoken word piece that I found randomly on youtube. It speaks for itself, so there is no need for me to even say much about it. I will say though, that it made me think about things from my past, and it made me grateful for where I am right now.

My favorite part:

“…Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter not knowing the value of its use to me
Arteries so clogged with my will, it blocked His will from flowing through me
So I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack that
Flat lined my obscure vision
Put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He saw
So through my sternum He sawed
and cracked open my chest to transplant Psalm 51:10
A new heart and a renewed right spirit within me.
So now I fully understand
Better yet, I thoroughly comprehend
How much I need to wait for you….”

Better Than A Hallelujah

[Source]

"We pour out our miseries,

God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are,

The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah... sometimes."

Warrior Love

This video of the day is dedicated to my beau.
Happy Valentine's Day ♥

Warrior Love by Etana

"Behind every strong man
There is a good woman
That's who I live to be
You seem to be pleased with who I am
'Cause you're the strongest man I've ever seen
I'm a whole lotta woman
Full of everything your love is worth
For you to have me on your mind always
You must be carrying the weight of the earth..."

Things I Love Thursday

This week, I'm in love with young, married, Christian bloggers. They sometimes give readers a glimpse of their lives and marriage bliss through their blog posts and I cannot help but to anticipate feeling that same bliss.

The first is Sydney's blog, The Daybook. She often blogs about her time spent with "Husband" or the cute, quirky things he does on a daily basis. Her love for her husband drips off of every word used to write about him. This is by far my favorite post!

I also like Katie's blog, life observed by {kate}. They are newlyweds, but I remember when I started reading her blog (last summer, I believe), and I was just amazed at how grateful she was that God has placed this man into her life. Sounds kind of familiar.

The last blog, Honey and Salt, was found randomly (like many other blogs that I follow). I think it was that little write-up below her 'about me' blurb that pulled me in.

There's one final Final blog that I'm loving this week. I JUST found this last blog today (2-6-2011). Yea, I sometimes write my blog posts way ahead of time b/c blogger has this handy scheduler thing under the post options. Anyhoo... The Blissfully Blessed Wife's blog was featured on DSW 's facebook page this morning. The name of her blog was enough to get me wanting to visit her page. I like what I have seen so far. I definitely hit the "follow" button within the first 5 minutes of perusing through her blog and reading the about me section.

Check them out.

Merry Christmas

[Source]

Excited about gifts and spending time with family and friends, but let us not forget the real reason for Christmas and the greatest gift of all...

"...I come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
John 10:10 KJV

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Video of the Day

Sweet Song!.... Absolutely beautiful video!
It puts a smile on my face EVERY time I watch it.

"Come Close" by Common (feat. Mary J. Blige)