Mary and Max

Strange things happen when you leave your husband home alone for a couple of hours on a Sunday night. Last night, I returned home to find Beau watching a movie on Amazon Instant Video. It was a black and white claymation film. "Mary and Max" was the title-- a film that, according to Beau, was "funny so far, but also a little sad". He explained the general idea of the film a little further and I became intrigued, so I joined him and immediately found myself giggling during certain scenes. Then towards the end of the movie, I thought "what kind of craziness is my husband really watching??", all while still being sucked into it. It ended and I wanted to cry a bit, but I refused to since I started watching in the middle and it made absolutely no sense to be so attached to characters I met half-way through a movie. I still thought the movie was a bit strange, and Beau even more strange for finding such a random movie to watch on a Sunday night.  I would totally recommend it, though.

Here's a graphic that summarizes the film (click to enlarge):

** image #1 found here

** image #2 found here

Married Friends

It recently came to my attention that beau has two good friends to discuss all marriage-related things with. I -- have zero. His one friend lives in the city and they meet up for lunch and chit chats during the workweek. His other friend from college also speaks with him on occasion. Both friends have gotten married within the last year, so it is an amazing outlet for him.

It never bothered me before, but now that I think about it, it would be nice to have someone to speak with from time to time. More specifically, someone in my age bracket.

There are very few people who I call friend-- who I would feel comfortable enough to share intimate details with. (That's the way it should be, right?) But none of them are married. 

It’s funny how I didn't feel the need for a married friend until recently. I have learned from early on not to share anything with others outside of my marriage. Wanting a married friend is for fellowship and not relationship bashing... Sharing similarities, general conflict resolutions and my feelings of short-comings, and even gaining suggestions on how handle certain issues that arise. That is why my unmarried friends will not suffice.

I pray that I am able to find a friend soon. Where? When? I have no clue.

All you married folk, do you have at least one married friend to fellowship with? If not? Do you desire one? 

Adoptive Mothers

It's amazing how much love can be poured out from people you've only known for a short while. Like last year Spring, the ladies of my church here in CT had a little get together for me. It was truly great to have them all there. After all, they were my first friends here. I moved to Connecticut for grad school and knew no one. I decided to attend their Tuesday night Bible study Fall 2010, and looked forward to Tuesday nights every. single. week. They helped to keep me grounded, loved and not so alone. I had friendly faces to say hello to me at church on Sunday mornings when I didn't have that anywhere else, and kind hearts to invite me for hot dogs afterwards. I received hugs, prayers and well wishes for the semesters and congratulations and words of advice on my big news. 

These ladies were my friends; adoptive mothers in a sense. I love them all and will miss them dearly when I move back home.

Annual Traditions

The one tradition I've looked forward to for the past 4 years of my life is the 'Pre-Thanksgiving Feast' my friends from undergrad and I had the weekend before Thanksgiving. We usually had a full spread for dinner, and all contributed to the meal in some fashion. I always made the mashed potatoes. We also had baked mac and cheese, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and our makeshift turkey were a few containers of store-bought rotisserie chicken. (It was the best we could do in a college dorm).

This tradition of sorts began in 2007 when our friendship first began germinating. We thought, 'wouldn't it be cool to have Thanksgiving dinner together since we will all be away with our families on the actual day?'. We went grocery shopping the day before the event and somehow everything always came together very nicely. After such a massive dinner, we danced. That food had to be dissolved somehow...

Even though we graduated last year May, our friends still continued the tradition since everyone still pretty much lived in the New Jersey/New York area. I was unable to make it to last year's festivities, but I will definitely be going today. I haven't seen my fellow Drewids since Alumni weekend last year! We're meeting at my friend's apartment in NYC. I am super excited! ツ

Here are a few pics from the previous years:

 2007 

 2008

 2009

Wanted: Old Support System

 

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Sometimes, I miss all the support I once had from friends.

I miss being able to tell them just about anything. 

About those times of excitement and terrifying times

(Like, junior year of college when I had a mini-breakdown during a 'Grey's Anatomy' commercial break. There was my friend ready to listen, pass me tissues and offer advice)

Lately, I just feel that I can't tell anyone much of anything,

For fear of being ridiculed or having details of my personal life spread abroad (and more often than not, the two go hand-in-hand)

Besides, who is there to tell?

With time, I've been learning that as I get older, the close friends of the past may not be the close friends of the future.

It is as if our lives and paths of friendship have bifurcated and they have become strangers.

And why would I want to share the most intimate parts of my life with strangers? 

Although, I have hear that this can be extremely therapeutic for some.

It just wouldn't be the same for me though, because they are not strangers. They know pieces of the 13, 16, and 20 year old me that no one else knows.

I guess that makes them strangers of the present me.

Maybe it's better this way. 

For fear of sounding ungrateful, I would like to mention that I have a great support system otherwise. My beau and my friend from high school are the greatest and most trustworthy people in my life right now. Not to mention a few of the women from my current church home in Connecticut. Maybe that's all I need right now, you know? But it sure does feel like I'm missing out on some...

This may take a little getting used to.

Photo

Go girl, seek happy nights to happy days

I had a great weekend. My friend from home came to visit me here in CT. 'Twas fun just getting away from the normal weekend routine, which honestly doesn't consist of much activity. Seeing a familiar face was just good.

I picked her up in Hartford on Friday afternoon in monsoon-like rain. We drove back, unwound a bit with lunch, followed by a trip to the mall. We crashed pretty early that night (If you consider 11:30/midnight 'early').

Saturday was spent just enjoying the day. Our plans to go to brunch were curtailed when we found ourselves being ultimate time-wasters. We didn't leave for "brunch" until after 2pm! However, we were lucky to find 2-hour parking in downtown New Haven, in front of some of the Yale dorms. We walked through a random park in the middle of the city. Took a few pics, met an Ecuadorian guy who went to Uni in Philly, and finally made it to the coffee shop.

We sipped on hot chocolate and vanilla chai for an hour or so, enjoying the atmosphere of the cute little coffee shop. Dear friend then decided to distract a random guy from his studies to take pics of us. He turned out to be a really nice med-school student who attended UPenn's medical school and was now in CT completing his residency (We met TWO guys who studied in our hometown... strange). As I continued to mind my business, Dearest friend decided to talk to this guy about everything under the sun including his time at med school, her dream of wanting to go to med school turned to nursing, traveling, going out, networking, science in general, and then on to his personal life and if he plans on marrying his current girlfriend 3 years his senior. I thought it was kind of funny...But as I said, I minded my business and enjoyed my hot chocolate and free wi-fi. ツ

We quickly ran back to the car in hopes of not finding a parking ticket attached to the windshield wipers... We were ticket free! The rest of the day consisted of random travels, dinner at a commercial steak house, and ending the night with stereotypical girlish banter. (seriously).

Sunday we attended church, caught up on homework, and ate a home-cooked dinner while watching a movie... an overall relaxing end to this weekend. ツ

A year or two...

{Source}

I'm pretty sure that a year or two from now, I'll only be in touch with.... one or two friends from Drew. Facebook is a lame excuse for communication and it really does not represent true friendship.

My college years were fun and the people I called friends at the time, did make it that way. But honestly, how many of them will remain in contact after? It's already been 6 months and I've spoken on the phone with ONE person. It's a part of life. The same happened in grade school and high school. It's like, you were forced to be in an environment with these people so to appease yourself and develop social skills, you gained acquaintances. But, as you move on in life and reach different stages in life, in terms of career, education and family, those friends disappear.

30 Day Blog Challenge-- Day 4

Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

So that I will not discriminate, I will include a pic of all of my good friends.

Kimone: The first pic is of us when we were still in high school. We've been friends for a long time now. The second is a pic of Kim on the weekend of my 21st birthday. She really blossomed into a beautiful lady. ♥

Malinda: Malinday Monster! I met her in 10th grade. These pics are characteristic of her happy-go-lucky personality. ♥

Nicole: "Nicolie-olie" I really liked the scenery of the first pic and the fact that Nicole always takes pride and puts alot of effort into getting dressed whenever she's going out. The second one is of us at the Christmas service at church... symbolic of where we first met... Church. It's been 15 years! ♥

Vanessa: My vanilla-bean. I met her at church also. I spent MANY Christmases and Thanksgiving at her house with her and her parents. So, the first pic symbolizes her as my Christmas gifts (as she's been for so many years) and the second represents her crazy personality. ♥

People Change and Forget ToTell Each Other

Image Source: Janet Schafner

"Silence has become normal between us. Not the nice kind of silence, or the comfortable kind of silence. But the awkward kind of silence, like between strangers. Our silence is an avoidance of the truth." ~Author unknown~

"We've all grown up, and there's no denying that. But it's tough to tell if in that growing up, we've simply grown apart." Author unknown~

"I thought we'd be friends for many more years, but as time goes on, our pictures fade and all of our good times seem to drift away."

--- Today, I'm thinking people grow apart. It's all a part of life. What never goes away is the love and admiration you have for that person, even if they did something to compromise it.

.... People change and forget to tell each other. ~Lillian Hellman~

Do you ever feel like there is a strain on your friendship of many years?

A Good Friend

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"A good friend is someone we can count on, as well as being so much more.
A friend is someone with whom we can relax and just hang out, have fun and
share our innermost thoughts--deep dark secrets, lofty and noble goals, or
our hopes, joys, and fears. A good friend allows you a safe space to share
your deepest thoughts and needs--without worry of being judged, criticized
or made to feel silly for feeling the way you do. Friends cheer each other on,
laugh and cry together, and just plain commiserate and listen to each other.
That's why friends are friends"

~Bettie and Jennifer Leigh Youngs~