Repeated Lessons

Ever felt like life was trying to teach you a lesson? But you weren't quite getting it, so you kept getting hit with the same circumstance over and over again until you not only realize that you are indeed facing the same thing repeatedly, but you also ponder why on earth can't I get past this? Yea. That.

That is how I truly feel being unemployed. I get interviews. I progress to the next step. Then, the letdown. the sadness. the frustration. the self pity. the question: where are you God in all of this?

It took me a while to get here, but I've finally made it. And now I just wait. I wait on the Lord because I've come to the realization that He is my help. He is my provider. He created me and knew me from conception and if He is such an all-knowing God, He must know what my heart desires. I've got that part down. It's the patience and faith part that I am still working on.

I compare myself-- ourselves, Beau and I-- to other young married couples a lot (mostly bloggers, because honestly, I don't have a community of other young married couples here with me to compare ourselves to). But I compare us to them alot. Mostly in the sense that they have this nice thing, they have that nice thing, they get to go here, do this, do that... I compare us to them a lot and I often wonder, why don't we have this? The answer came to me while having my devotion one morning last week. The Lord lead me to read Hebrews 13:5 which states "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." What  a comforting promise and a stern reminder to stop the comparison game. I admit, it is something I do so often. Not just because I'm a nutcase and I like to compare myself to people that I don't know, but because I desire so much. I have such hopes and dreams for our home... for starting my career and working at a place that I love... and even more so, starting our family with a little bebe. I have. such. hope.

But there is obviously some lesson I am just not grasping during this waiting season. Maybe it's not having enough faith. Maybe it's being content with what I have. Whatever it is, I felt I got a little reminder when I read through Hebrews again for the umpteenth time since this waiting season began. Having faith and contentment is what stood out to me most when reading it this time around and I truly believe this is my repeated life lesson. When will I finally pass?

Date Night: Crabby Cafe

Earlier in February, Beau and I tried a crawfish boil restaurant. And by "we", I kinda mean he.... because I ordered wings. Typical of me, if you know me pretty well. I am often very hesitant to try new things. Although I am more than willing to have a taste if I'm curious enough (or you pressure me enough).

We found the restaurant through Groupon, as we normally do. Since we started dating, we've tried many restaurants in and around Philadelphia through flash sale sites like Groupon and LivingSocial. Many of them have led us to favorites like this one, and many were an okay experience where our meal was good, but we do not see ourselves returning because of subpar service or flavors.

So, we headed out to the Crabby Cafe for dinner on a Thursday evening after work. It is located in Northeast Philly. The advertisement that it was a cajun cafe is what attracted us most, but once we did further research, we knew it would be some kind of hole-in-the-wall place. Regardless of it's location and size, it was a pretty great spot. The decor was cute. The place settings were practical-- craft paper line the tables and rolls of paper towels act as centerpieces. Our food was served sans utensils (something I am not completely comfortable with, but since I ordered finger food, I suppose it was okay). And finally, the flavors did not disappoint. My spice of my wings punched me in the face several times and I could tell by Beau's face that he really enjoyed the crawfish. I too can vouch for the crawfish. I tried one, and it was pretty good.

We would consider going back. They recommended trying the shrimp next time, so we're curious.

Spontaneous Generation

As you all know, I've had a deep love for science growing up. One of my most memorable science lessons (aside from the 8th grade final project I did on neurological disorders where I handcrafted a brain-cerebellum, brainstem and all- with wads of green play-dough) was that of spontaneous generation. Spontaneous Generation is the idea that living organisms develop from non-living matter. Take old rice for example- and this is something I believed in for many years. Say you dispose of old, cooked rice in the trash bin one day in the summer and a few days later, you see little maggots (gross, I know) in that same bin where the rice was placed. Because the maggots are the same color and relatively the same size as the rice grains, it might seem as though those little buggers morphed from the grains of rice. But in reality, several factors attributed to their appearance:

1. the heat of the summer months
2. flies being in high abundance during this time, and
3. flies laying their eggs close to a food source (the disposed of rice) to feed their young when they hatch.

Now, let me tell you that for the longest time, I believed spontaneous generation was a thing. I believed maggots were frankenstein rice grains. Oh! And those little insects that look like twigs and leaves? I thought they were as a result of this phenomenon as well. 

Fast forward to now, when I can finally accept that spontaneous generation is indeed a theory. But I can't help but wonder where all the dust in our house comes from. I dust, sweep, swiffer, mop and in a matter of days, the place is dusty again. (And it's been a crazy cold winter, so it has nothing to do with having the windows open) Three months into living here, I seriously regretted wanting wooden floors through-out. What in the world was I thinking?! When I allow myself to think about it long enough (as I have now since I am writing this post), my mind always drifts back to the possibility of spontaneous generation. That just has to be it. Granted, dust is not a living organism. But the way that thing shows up in our house, that thing seems very much alive.

So, this post was more than random. Beau often wonders what goes on in my mind because my analytic process is apparently "off the rockers". But honestly, this is how I am. This is how my brain/thought-process works.... And now you know.  

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