Life Goes On -- Making Plans

It's pretty safe to say that just about every girl dreams of the day she falls in love, becomes engaged, and is then able to plan her wedding. I have to admit that the last 11 months (can't believe it's been that long already) of my engagement haven't been so grande. Aside from not having the support that I would like to have, I was also hunkered down with school, finding a job post graduation, and the overall cares of life.

I really wish I could do this all over again and have the joyful parent, carefree life, a well-paying career to foot the expenses, and just the overall support to begin planning my dream wedding. But that would make life a little less interesting, wouldn't it?

Needless to say, life goes on and in the end, I have to do what's best for me. I love beau with all my heart. Not just because he's sweet, kind and easy on the eyes, but because he actively strives to be an easy-going, Christ-like person. His actions towards me and certain situations in life pushes me to try my hardest to live that way as well.

So, in light of the roadblock that was before us in planning our wedding, I have finally begun planning the details of my wedding.  I do hope to share some of these details with you when they're completed, dearest readers. In the mean time, here are a few of my favorite inspirations from my pinterest boards.

photo via

Sad Before

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I've been sad before, but not like this. No. This one is a little different. This one hurts a little more. ..

This one has me feeling physically sick to my stomach. Retching with no product. Lying face-down on the floor bawling never ending tears. Yea! This one is different.

I almost wish someone would rip my insides out, so I could feel a different kind of pain.

You see, no one really knows what I have been through unless they've been through it themselves. How someone could be so wicked and angry for naught. The venomous things they'd say. The spiteful things they'd do.

It hurts.

Going Back

I am thinking of going back. Back to the way I used to write. Back to the deep-seated things that I used to share. Granted, I'm no best selling author, and I often question my diction, but I had a lot of personal things that needed to be expressed, and it was a relief to bare them all here where no one I knew would read and revel sympathize in my hurt.

Since friends and family members (and more subscribers than I ever imagined having) check in regularly, I shied away from sharing these things.  But, I feel as though it's time to share again. There are a lot of things that burden my heart lately. A lot of pain and hurt that I smile through. And I honestly believe that someone, somewhere may be facing similar adversities and would like the comfort of knowing that they are not alone in their tribulations, and that there is hope in making it through.

So, I'm going back.