August 21, 2012

A Shift


As a kid, I remember the anticipation of sharing every bit of life (as I knew it )with my very good friends. A new discovery. A new crush. My newest prized possession. I would burst at the seams waiting for lunch time to roll around to finally spill the beans in privacy, or rush home to dish the deets of the bus ride after they exited at their stop. It was as if every secret of mine was theirs and not a single detail was speared.

Today, I find myself to be the complete opposite. Every detail of my life is no longer conversational. I can wait to share info, and in many cases, I am very apprehensive to do so. 

In a sense, it's not because I no longer consider my friends trustworthy, but because I am making a shift in life. A shift in knowing what's cool to share and what's best to keep to myself. A shift in knowing that some things are just better left unspoken-- best left lodged in the back of my mind for me to look back on and smile (or shake my head) at. But mostly, I have just made in shift in who I share those secrets with:  my beau. 

As beau and I move towards having a life together where we are united and become one, there has to be a line of communication that's just between us. We have been together for a little over 3 years now and as time progressed, I felt myself making that shift. I felt more comfortable sharing things with him that I could never even imagine telling my good friends from way back when. Nothing is a secret with him, and that's the way it should be. 

I am glad that I have made this shift. Not just for my personal relationship, but for myself as well. I never quite knew what it was to be discrete, but I like what it has taught me. I am able to think critically, and formulate my own opinions. I have also learned to do things in my own time. These lessons may seem simple and miniscule, but it was really something that I have never done myself. 

The life-lessons and wisdom that comes with age is truly a gift. As the days go by, I discover something different about my older self that I really really like. 

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